Oh what a whirlwind! 2023 definitely kicked off with a bang and I could not be more excited.

My precious boys are now 9 months old and we are less than 3 months away from celebrating their first birthday! First! Like they’re going to be 1 soon and it feels like just yesterday I came home with them.

Mr B is pursing a life long dream in England and we can’t wait to celebrate with him in a few weeks! Side note for all of our married friends, being each other’s biggest cheerleaders no matter the season is one of the best things we can offer each other, especially when we are physically miles apart (p.s struggle is real, get at me if you have any tips for your girl for this distance life haha).

This time last year I was returning home with my husband after spending nearly 4 months in England. It was one of the best trips I’ve ever had and it was the last one we took together before we became parents.

Now, being here in Fiji looking at our beautiful boys, taking some time off the 9 to 5 work load, being a first time mom, and intentionally putting myself in spaces for mentoring, I can’t help but write a few things about what I’m learning or unlearning and relearning I should say.

1. Intentions must be coupled with actions. In this first quarter, I’ve experienced some of my highest satisfaction in a day when I realise what I intended to do from the night or day before was actually accomplished in that day. From simple things like getting our car serviced and going through the annual registration process to more complex aspects of navigating through my relationships with my in laws/loves, I found that when I was intentional about my attitude, priorities and faith, my days usually went by better than I even expected.
2. Listening when they talked. Whether it was my boys babbling away or a stranger who started a conversation in a grocery store, even to my mentoring community sharing about their day, I discovered that when I made eye contact, turned my phone screen facing down, and actually listened to them, I learned more about them than they expressed in just their words and it was so refreshing. In my generation, we’re all about the gadgets, apps, scrolling through feeds and checking the latest update on whatever conversation we’re a part of or want to be informed about so it’s easy to just go through the day literally staring at our screens. But when I took even the moments with my sons to hear them babbling away and talk to them as if we were having a full talanoa session, I could see their big beautiful brown eyes light up as if they understood every word and I’d notice their different mannerism and as a first time mom, those moments melt my heart like nothing else could. And it was in those moments that it would dawn on me to just be present and listen when someone is trying to communicate with me.
3. Change isn’t something that always requires an explanation. For someone like me who spent a majority of the past 5 years in Fiji’s public spaces, I found myself contending with the thoughts to explain myself on social media or even traditional media outlets about why I did this or why I did that but as I live through the first quarter of 2023, I’m reconciling my thoughts with the very reality that I don’t owe anyone an explanation, including myself. I’m not the same person I was 5 years ago, let alone a year ago and while this evolution of me is still on progress loading, I’m grateful for the seasons I’ve had and the one I’m in today. I will choose to focus on today, because today matters, and regardless of how much of my actions or inactions of the past I want to change, I can’t and I need to be ok with that and be present, here, in today because what I do or don’t do today is the only thing I can actually change.

This first quarter of 2023 has given me the opportunity to grow and stretch my capacity, whether it was learning the tricks and fun of being a twin mom, cherishing how blessed I am to have the extended family I married into or just rediscovering who I am in the midst of all the hats I now wear, I am grateful for today. It matters and it’s a great day to be intentional. Stay grateful friends.