Hey sis,

Last week, I had the privilege of attending a couples evening with the Fijian community where we were visiting in England. And let me tell you – I was not ready. What I experiences wasn’t just a lovely gathering – it was a deeply moving night full of humility, laughter, vulnerability, and good-ol fashioned Fijian rivalry fun. I left that room so filled, I had to write about it.

Now, you might think: “Okay cool, a couples night.” But chhhhiiiiillllld, these couples took it to another level. Picture this: a room of army/navy Fijian husbands and wives doing a SWOT analysis on their marriages (yes, like a business meeting but way more personal), exploring each other’s love languages, and openly expressing the top three qualities they admire in their spouse.

Sounds like a scene from a rom-com, right? Well, imagine that playing out in a community where public dating is rare, where men don’t typically share their emotions – let alone their thoughts on marriage in front of others. For many of us who grew up in Fijian households, this kind of open, vulnerable communication wasn’t modelled. It just wasn’t part of our cultural script. To witness it, and to be part of it, was so powerful.

Three Lessons I Took Home

I wanted to share some of the wisdom I soaked up from these incredible couples – many of whom have been married for decades, all navigating the challenges of military/service life:

1. Every couple has their own journey. No matter what stage of marriage you’re in – newlyweds, parents, empty nesters – you’re not alone. Every couple has seasons. Some are smooth, others feel like survival. But someone, somewhere has walked through it before you. and someone else is about to. You’re never as alone as you think.
2. Never stop learning about each other. Just because you’ve said your vows and raised kids doesn’t mean you’ve finished discovering who your spouse is. People change. Seasons shift. Priorities evolve. Keep the communication growing – curiosity is a beautiful form of expressing love.
3. Marriage is covenant, not convenience. “Till death so us part” wasn’t just a poetic line in our vows – it was a promise. A daily commitment. And yes, it takes work. But that work can be beautiful, especially when you remember to have fun along the way.

One of my favourite reminders came from a couple married 27 years: “Listen to each other and remember where you came from.” That hit deep. In a world that often treats marriage as a photo op or a temporary arrangement, this was a bold reminder that marriage is still a sacred covenant – a living picture of God’s love for His church.

Let’s continue to cheer on our married friends and family. Let’s model covenant love the next generation. And let’s not forget to create more spaces – like that couple night – where our people can be honest, encouraged and reminded that love, in all it’s realness, is worth celebrating.

Stay blessed

-A